I’m assuming you have guessed my recent activity by the title of this entry – and yes, I went to an antique store. Now this isn’t antiquing which I’m used to doing in Kirksville Missouri where I can grab some vintage glass soda bottles and a butter churn, this is straight up fancy schmancy $22,000 rugs and $8,000 chair (yup, that is singular).
Kind of like Fight Club where steamy Brad Pitt joins all of those support groups, I’ve joined a bunch of women’s organisations. Except I’m not doing it for psychopathic reasons and we don’t secretly fight – although I could suggest it as an activity for the next monthly luncheon or morning tea. It basically keeps me involved and busy – and like we all know, if we’re not busy beyond our physical abilities to cope with the overwhelmingness then what do we have to live for? One of the activities was to go to an antique shop in Freemantle. I can’t lie, it was beautiful. I did my very best to pretend like I had any business being around such expensive items I would ooh and ahhh at the exquisiteness while exclaiming “wow, that’s not too bad, what a fantastic armoire” while peering at the price tag and holding back vomit. I did this while other women were exclaiming “why yes, this chair would go perfect with in my home back in the states”. We also had dainty and wonderful snacks, teas, and pomegranate juice to dine on while the owners gave us a brief history of their business and finds. Knowing my amazing graces I kept my glass of pomegranate juice far, far away from anything not red or purple. I spied in the middle of the treat table a tasty looking sweet which I decided to partake of. I took one bite and realised why no one had eaten them yet, it was covered in powdered sugar. I looked down and saw my standard uniform of black leggings and a wrap (not because I actually think I look good in them – but because I could only pack so many suitcases and they took up less room) completely covered in a snowfall of powdered sugar. Oh yeah, so was the ridiculously expensive Persian rug I was standing on … I hoped no one was looking as I tried to nonchalantly cover up the sugar blizzard with my foot but mostly made little shoe snow angels. Thankfully the crowd broke and decided to continue looking at the loot.
More awkward moments …
A friend was buying a great Ottoman serving tray. There were a group of us at the check out while the manager starting giving me the “yes I’m judging you” look.
Quietly he whispers “I have a store you would like” and begins to grab a business card to write the name. Some of the ladies catch wind and ask what he’s talking about.
Ladies: “What is this? Is it a restaurant?”
Dude: Looks up at them, ignores questions, turns to me. “I really think you’d like it, it’s definitely up your alley”
Ladies: “sir, SIR, what are you telling her about?”
Dude: Looks at them again, slightly rolls eyes. “Nothing, just a women’s clothing store”
Apparently he is unaware that he said this to a group of, um, women.
Dude: Gives me the once over again and confirms “yes, you would definitely love this store, the manager is great, she and you could become good friends.
Ladies: Staring in disbelief of the man who refuses to give them any information of this clothing store
I have yet to go to the store, slightly afraid of what he was judging what my type of store and friends would be like …
Book Review: Dracula. It’s a classic, I thought I’d give it a try. I can appreciate that people like it, I was bored and will stick to my questionable young adult vampires.