28 Days Later

For the record this is not a review of the Movie “28 Days Later”. If it was it would go something like this: What a stupid horrid movie, don’t see it. Even the “Hugh Grant effect” (you know of forgetting what a stupid bloke they are because of an endearing British accent) could save this film and it’s zombie-like-mutant-disease-ridden plot. Also, if you were looking for a film review of “28 Days” here’s my 2 cents (inclusive of Aussie exchange rate): Once again another stupid Sandra Bullock movie. Yes I’ll acknowledge that she was good in Blind Side but every other role she plays I swear she looks like Fiefel the mouses’s love interest in the 1980’s An American Tale “film” franchise.

Onto what this entry is really about – we’ve officially been here 28 days – which I believe makes living in Perth a habit (although I’m still trying to get the hang of it). To celebrate this milestone here are 28 divided by 2 things I’ve learned so far living here.

*Drum Roll*

  1. Perth is the most remote city in the world (also for those calling me – it’s 13 hours ahead of CST)
  2. I can get almost everywhere I need to (Ikea) by some form of public transportation (bus, train, or ferry)
  3. If you get on the correct bus it will take you exactly where you are intending to go
  4. If you get on the incorrect bus you will have to walk 1 km to the movie theatre
  5. McDonald’s is Macas; Burger King is Hungry Jacks; KFC is still disgusting (unless you’re talking to Rob)
  6. Don’t be fooled by anything labeled as Mexican food – it should really be called Mexican’t (unless you fancy a nice pita burrito)
  7. Never assume someone is homeless because they aren’t wearing shoes – people here just don’t wear shoes
  8. People also don’t like wearing clothing. If your bum isn’t hanging out of your shorts they are too long; if your dress if longer than a tube top than it’s not short enough.
  9. Cheese is the correct colour here (meaning the colour of the animal’s milk – although we have yet to locate a Velveeta cow herd)
  10. Most people ask if I’m Canadian before asking American
  11. Don’t ask the child seated near you at a match who they are “rooting” for.  Root/ rooting means “having sex with”. That is also a good time to shrug your shoulders and mention it must be a part of your Canadian background …
  12. Footy is awesome – it’s like a tackle-basketball-soccer-keep the ball away from <insert name of youngest sibling>
  13. If you’ve wondered where Law & Order has been disappearing to, Australia has been siphoning episodes to create 24 hour series coveraged
  14. I look like an idiot every time I open my mouth to exclaim “what a beautiful day!!!” because that’s what it’s always like here
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