For the record this is not a review of the Movie “28 Days Later”. If it was it would go something like this: What a stupid horrid movie, don’t see it. Even the “Hugh Grant effect” (you know of forgetting what a stupid bloke they are because of an endearing British accent) could save this film and it’s zombie-like-mutant-disease-ridden plot. Also, if you were looking for a film review of “28 Days” here’s my 2 cents (inclusive of Aussie exchange rate): Once again another stupid Sandra Bullock movie. Yes I’ll acknowledge that she was good in Blind Side but every other role she plays I swear she looks like Fiefel the mouses’s love interest in the 1980’s An American Tale “film” franchise.
Onto what this entry is really about – we’ve officially been here 28 days – which I believe makes living in Perth a habit (although I’m still trying to get the hang of it). To celebrate this milestone here are 28 divided by 2 things I’ve learned so far living here.
- Perth is the most remote city in the world (also for those calling me – it’s 13 hours ahead of CST)
- I can get almost everywhere I need to (Ikea) by some form of public transportation (bus, train, or ferry)
- If you get on the correct bus it will take you exactly where you are intending to go
- If you get on the incorrect bus you will have to walk 1 km to the movie theatre
- McDonald’s is Macas; Burger King is Hungry Jacks; KFC is still disgusting (unless you’re talking to Rob)
- Don’t be fooled by anything labeled as Mexican food – it should really be called Mexican’t (unless you fancy a nice pita burrito)
- Never assume someone is homeless because they aren’t wearing shoes – people here just don’t wear shoes
- People also don’t like wearing clothing. If your bum isn’t hanging out of your shorts they are too long; if your dress if longer than a tube top than it’s not short enough.
- Cheese is the correct colour here (meaning the colour of the animal’s milk – although we have yet to locate a Velveeta cow herd)
- Most people ask if I’m Canadian before asking American
- Don’t ask the child seated near you at a match who they are “rooting” for. Root/ rooting means “having sex with”. That is also a good time to shrug your shoulders and mention it must be a part of your Canadian background …
- Footy is awesome – it’s like a tackle-basketball-soccer-keep the ball away from <insert name of youngest sibling>
- If you’ve wondered where Law & Order has been disappearing to, Australia has been siphoning episodes to create 24 hour series coveraged
- I look like an idiot every time I open my mouth to exclaim “what a beautiful day!!!” because that’s what it’s always like here