Paint By Numbers

I have spent the last two weeks of my existence either physically painting, thinking about painting, picking out paint colors, cleaning paint out of my hair, or trying to hide from “Ob” that I once again spilled paint.  This all started two days before New Years Eve when I looked around the dining room and thought (out loud within “Ob’s” ear reach) that the wallpaper needed to be removed and the room painted.  10 minutes later this turned into sheets of wallpaper being torn down, outlet plates being removed, valances crashing to the ground, and holes being patched up.  It looked like our NYE plans had been solidified – which was fine for me as I don’t understand a need to dress up in silver (or any other metallic color for that matter) and be forced to stay up past midnight.  I need my sleep people! And furthermore frankly I’m shocked at what they’ve done to poor Dick Clark making him still host a rockin’ new years eve when it’s clearly the last and most uncomfortable place to be – I’m not even sure he’s aware of what year it is.  Oh, and further furthermore, did they seriously need Jenny McCarthy as a co-host? She is one of the most awful celebrities I could name – she ranks right up there with Nicholas Cage in horridness …

… and back to my story.  Over the next  2 days we went through only 7 paint samples 6 roller brushes, 5 gallons of paints, 62 (I’m not kidding) new cabinet pulls, 3 yards of fabric, and 2 chandeliers – all with only 19 trips to Lowes, 4 to Home Depot and 1 to Joann’s Fabric.  We managed to paint the dining room, living room, kitchen, reupholstered the chairs and change out lighting.  I honestly don’t mind painting – until it comes to bathrooms and kitchens.  There are so many tiny nooks and crevices that one must be able to contort their body in ways that only little underage olympic gymnasts can do (please keep in mind I’m neither bendy, or little for that matter) to be able to reach.  When the clock struck midnight on NYE I was literally playing Crouching Tiger on top of the kitchen counters in order for me to paint above the cabinets.  Since then I’ve painted 2 hallways, 1 bathroom, and the laundry room.  Don’t get me wrong, the color looks great (if only because I’m not willing to repaint) it’s just that my right arm is beginning to think I hate it with all the edging that is taking place.

Stay tuned for next week when I discuss the horrors of trying to paint a front entryway with a 20 foot ceiling without falling … and the my thoughts on how I hate the inventors of wallpaper as it sucks either to put up or to tear town 20 years later.

oh, oh, resolution update: I finished House of the Scorpion for week 1. I like to keep it simple, it’s sci-fi and I still actually liked it.  Way to pick out a decent read ms. “Rina”.


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