Compliments to the, um, ‘er … chef

When deciding the other day to actually start updating my blog again I thought long and hard (lie) about whether or not I have enough interesting things to write about (that people would actually want to read).  Survey says that I probably don’t have enough interesting things happening, but at a minimum I sure do have some stupid things happening. So here we go … it’s in three parts – and will all tie together at the end.  I set it up that way for easier screenplay adaptation …

Part I –  I like to cook and bake – although baking can be more difficult (assuming you care how it tastes).  I love cooking blogs that are actually feasible – I continually stalk  She lives my dream life – taking pictures of her food, eating her yummy recipes and living in New York City.  I don’t like baking blogs though – their pictures always turn out way better than my food that “tastes better than it looks”  My goal is: make it taste good.  I don’t care how that goal is reached, if items are made from scratch, from box mixes, or if I have to put extra amounts of frosting on something because I accidently switched up the sugar and salt (again).  Tonight I wanted to make dessert for a small gathering – I am perfectly happy using a box mix and throwing on some cream cheese frosting and raspberries – it will be edible.

Part II – I recently moved.  It was a pain for the guys who moved my piano pretty easy.  I have finally unpacked all of my stuff and put my new abode in order (and no, I never ended up getting the pot rack I was looking for).  I was going to make cupcakes the other evening and was searching for my hand mixer and found that somehow the mixer made it to the new place, however the beaters did not – rendering it useless.  I made a special trip to target and bought a fancy new hand mixer (and a new cardigan – thanks to the “Target Phenomenon”).

Part III – I organized the ingredients to make the cake – box of chocolate powder, oil, water, egg – and mixed it all together in the shiny new mixer.  Now, remember back in the days when your mother would make a cake or cookies and then you and your siblings would fight over who got to lick the beaters or the bowl – completely throwing caution to the wind that we might be salmonella poisoning? (if you are shaking your head with a big “no” then I’ll just go ahead and chalk this up as another odd thing that only my family did – like singing along to Les Miserables on all of our family road trips).  I decided that this cake batter looked too good to be washed off the beaters.  I recommend a few steps when you are going to lick the beater:

  1. UNPLUG the mixer from the outlet
  2. REMOVE the beaters from the mixer

I failed to do these two things … instead I went straight for the beater at the same time that my grip slipped and may have accidently hit the power button.  The beaters started moving (inwards) and my tongue went right along with it.  I was able to turn it off (those things really need to come with an emergency off switch”) and have to maneuver the beaters out of the mixer to free my tongue.  Let’s just say this little mishap should’ve been an isolated experience … and then I remembered I had a similar experience with fingers getting stuck when I was 11 …


4 thoughts on “Compliments to the, um, ‘er … chef

  1. I recall that day well, getting your hand stuck in the beaters. I believe you stopped the action with your hand, we unplugged the mixer and removed the beaters, thus freeing your hands. Being the sweet mom that I am, I made you practice the piano despite your slightly mangled hand…..

    • that is a very important card that should be displayed more prominently. i like the bakerella site – but every time i try to replicate her stuff it ends up looking inedible … but still tastes good!

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