No Clever Title – I Just Hate Mapquest!

The weekend was going to be perfect.  It was my sisters 30th birthday and she was to be surprised with a plethora of things, the first of which was for me, her favorite (only) little sister, to show up on Friday night so I could join her for a Saturday long run.  The morn of the Friday I packed up my vehicle so I could leave immediately from work.  I planned on leaving at 4:00 so the three hour drive would get me there at about 7:00 … in theory … I Mapquest’d the directions from Overland Park Kansas to Kirksville Missouri and was off on my trek.

The first hour went smoothly all I had to do was head North on I-35.  I had just filled my ipod with a new caraoke playlist (unfortunately some Barry Manilow snuck on it) and I seranaded myself with some Blame it on the Rain by Milli Vanilli – and sounded just as good.  It was then time to being following the directions of Mapquest … dum, dum, dumb …

Step 1:  Take exit 52B and follow right.  … ok, that’s easy enough, but doesn’t quite look the same as the last time I made the trip.

Step 2:  Turn right on 30th Street … hmmm, looks like a real road.

Step 3:  Turn left on SE 30th E W Street … I’m not a topographysacist, however I didn’t think that could be a real direction.  Anyways the road was a bit gravely, but it looked like it may go somewhere important.

Step 4:  Turn right on SE 30th EW Street … wait, isn’t that what i was on??? I looked up and yes, these two samely named streets did intersect. This new road was a bit odd.  At one point it had been gravel and after numerous thunderstorms it had been completely washed away.  I treaded down the road while white knuckling the steering wheel with fear of of high centering.  The thought of me attempting to un-stick my Highlander in my True Religions and high heels was atrocious.

It was at this point that I realized I may possibly be lost.  I looked around and saw something that looked like it could be a town – or was once a town.  I could not find it on the map, so I powered up the navigation on my blackberry.  Now, I LOVE navigation on my Blackberry, it has never failed me … until now.  Due to the fact that I literally in the middle of nowhere, GPS was unable to find me.  I quickly called my brother in law to inform him of my predicament and impending tardiness.  Unfortunately he was unable to provide assistance and I noted previously my GPS COULD NOT LOCATE ME.

I then tried to continue following Mapquest’s directions which looked something like this: Turn right on MO-E, turn left on MO-MM, turn right on MO-VMME which then becomes railway road which then becomes MO-EEEE, turn left at Bob’s house, click your heels three times, and don’t get the speed up above 88 MPH while the flux capacitor is turned on …

After following the manic route I finally came to a clearing, with a bright light, which was useful because it was now dark.  I saw an actual road, a real road, a highway, with signs, signs that included my destinations name!  My phone also began working.  It sounded like a winning slot machine with a number of text messages and voicemail alerts flying in.  I hit the car into overdrive and booked it into Kirksville – only 4 1/2 hours into the 3 hour trip …


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