note: it is very difficult to parody a song via blog (due to the lack of tune) so i am praying to all things andrew lloyd webber that anyone reading this is a huge “Rent” fan or at least has heard the song season of love. If not and you don’t want to shell out the $0.99 and are against music piracy you can listen to a 30 second preview on itunes. OR even better, rent Team America World Police, because it’s pretty funny.
I’m training for a race coming up here soon (Ironman 70.3 Kansas) so a friend and I (let’s call her “renda” to respect her anonymity – oh and by the way I have included a link to her blog on the right hand side) went for a long bike ride on Sunday in preparation. Below is an account of the day. I found it odd that all of the stupid ideas, thoughts, and comments were made by “renda” as well but that’s just the way it goes sometimes.
TIME: 6:52 PLACE: 3 miles away from ride start PHONE RINGS
renda: dude, where are you? this thing starts at 7:00, I thought you were going to be here at 6:15?
me: uh i’m totally here in the parking lot, we must’ve not parked near each other. um, er, i’ll come and find you and i swear we’ll leave on time and stuff (sh*t). oh, and i need to air up, oh, and use the restroom, um, and register for the ride.
renda: let’s take this ride easy today and not worry too much about time.
me: yeah, for sure, its so nice out. this will be easy.
MILE 11: 1st SAG Stop
me: i can’t believe its the first stop all ready, thats really quick.
renda: yeah it is, we don’t need to stop, lets just keep going.
me: totally, who stops this early, we’re rock stars and we look super hot.
renda: of course we do, i’m wearing my new conservative tri top.
renda: hey becca, i have to pee, when’s the next stop.
me: it was a mile ago.
MILE 25: SAG stop 2
Honest to all things unholy, at SAG stop 2 they handed out beads and played a lot of rolling stones. What’s great, for those of you who don’t cycle, is that is EXACTLY what you need after you’ve been cycling for 90 minutes, is beads. Oh, and they have peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches, which is practically the most perfect food ever behind pizza and chips & dips.
me: i can’t believe we’re all ready at 25 miles, this is going pretty easy yo.
renda: i know, we’re still super stars. and we look hot.
me: we always look hot – espcially in cycling clothes and helmets, and now with 1 single strand of beads.
me & renda: where the EFF did this headwind come from?!
Mile 56: SAG stop 4
Since this is a partial out and back course, surprise, SAG stop 2 is also the SAG stop 4! No more beads this time, but I did partake of some mighty fine orange slices faster than an 8 year old at a soccer game. To ward of any chaffing, renda headed to the “Johnny on the Spot” to reapply the body glide. Since I make it a point not to speak of (or write of) other peope’s “parts”, you can read a full account of renda’s “application of bodyglider to her hoo-ha in a port-a-potty” via her blog. It’s rivetting.
me: ok, I’m kind of tired now.
renda: how much have you eaten?
me: idk (because I speak in text), at least 200 calories, I’m kind of on a diet.
renda: are you effing kidding me? You do realize we’re riding 80 miles today right?
me: well, I didn’t really think all that much, I figured I might have a sandwich later and stuff … but I’m kind of hungry now …
renda: no sh*t … (eye roll)
renda: how many miles are we at?
renda: how many miles are we at?
brenda, oops i mean renda: seriously, how many miles are we at?
me: i know
Renda and I realize we are not 2 miles away from our cars, because we are at our cars. Since I was “on point” for all things math we figure 78 miles was a really great time and practically the same as 80. In attempt to loosen our legs up and get used to the transition, we ran a .64 mile loop around the parking lot. It’s now safe to say that Renda and I are now ready for our first 78 mile bike / .64 mile run duathlon, just let us know where to sign up!
p.s. … here’s a lovely picture of us after the ride.