Using Protection

i get it, every sport needs some type of protective gear to keep athletes safe from harm.  cyclists have helmets, soccer players have shin guards, rugby players wear long sleve polo shirts (i don’t get it either), and basketball players wear plastic face masks.  huh? basketball players wear face masks?

I was flipping between three televised sporting events the other evening (feel free to mock me, just not in the comment section, i don’t have a dvr so i had to switch between programs).  I was watching Detroit v Pittsburg (yes, the hockey season is still going on; no, nobody is watching it), the Royals v Twins (the cliffhanger of a losing streak), and the never ending playoffs of Boston v Detroit.  I was transfixed by Richard Hamilton’s “Phantom of the Opera” face mask except its nothing like Phantom because it’s clear and he isn’t hiding in the rafters of the opera, he’s actually quite visible …

The myth goes that during the 2003-2004 season mr hamilton broke his nose twice.  Ever since he has worn the very “neat” looking mask.  Apparently everyone else was intrigued with the contraption as there was a quick 3 minute “ode to the mask” feature created by ESPN.  This is where richard showed how he makes the mask look cool by wearing a headband with it.  (i completely understand what he is talking about since i too have made many things look cool by adding a headband – i.e. headgear, techni-color tee-shirts, abba) …

I was somewhat impressed by his committment to safety (and the fact that he makes eleventy billion more dollars than i do) and as i continued to watch the game unfold, i saw his plan quickly unravel.  Although he had the “super really cool looking not so much phantom of the opera” mask, he managed to trip and fall, injure his elbow, and finally get POKED IN THE EYE.  This, my friends, i believe had to be done with complete disdain and flagrance to the mask. 

Don’t let this discourage you.  Continue to wear your shoulder pads in football games, adjust your cup if you’re playing baseball, do something about those nipples if you’re running, just remember, that wearing a headband with it will make it much cooler. 


3 thoughts on “Using Protection

  1. Yes yes dear Becca… head bands and sweat bands make everyone and everything cooler… most importantly when they can pass as Mr. Myogi (sp?) head gear. In that instance it would a secuirty device too as no one, and I repeat no one (“puts Baby in a corner”…wait, that’s not it ) wants to mess with a kung-fu/karate/ninja master. True story.

  2. I have officially read your entire blog, start to finish. Day one to day now. Commencement to finale. Page 1 to page 2. Mask on to eye poke.

  3. I have found that a headband makes me look cool everytime a wear a speedo. Not that it’s really needed, everybody looks cool in a speedo.

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